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Who is our First Love?

October 27, 2010 by

So who is our First Love?

Do I believe that Christ Loves us like he says in his Word?

Our answer to these questions is central in our marriage crises.

I’m convinced that the more we draw closer to Jesus over the long-term the more he will work in our spouses, even when they are separated from us.

I really believe one lesson he is teaching us is to accept Him as the First Love in our lives so we are not weak and needy when we approach our spouses.  There is no more strength in your life when you can say to yourself “Christ, you give me all I need – I don’t need my spouse’s love, but I do want them to return to me so I can share this Love I have from you, Lord .”

God is a jealous God, and he does not want any person above Him.  But he also Loves our spouses in good ways we can never imagine and He Loves Marriage.

What he wants to do is Love our spouses by giving us His Love to do this, even when they do not love us back.

BUT, and this is important, we have to accept His Love for us first . . . .

We cannot keep rejecting His Love by saying “God does not Love me – and this crises is proof.”

Look, the first step our spouses will have to take for reconcilation is to accept our Love for them as genuine.  Right now they don’t believe we Love them!  They are making up all kinds of stories in their minds to justify a lie that we don’t love them.

Our relationship with Christ is no different.  We must accept the fact He Loves Us!  We must stop looking at our crises in self-pity and to support the lie of the enemy that God does not Love us.  Once we accept His Love as Genuine then we can begin to Love Him and His love will flow!

The first step is to daily reaffirm that God loves us.  The two ways are to praise and love Him in some good alone time with just Him – just praise him – don’t beg him to stop the crises.  The second is to seek Him and learn about who He is in His Word – read the Psalms and you’ll see who Christ really is . . .

1 John 4:19 ”We love Him because He first loved us.”

Filed Under: Love, Marriage

Day by Day Faith through the Ups and Down

February 24, 2009 by

Most people who have chosen to stand in faith that Christ can heal their marriage will tell you that there will be times when you see small or even big miracles only to be followed by what seem like crushing defeats.

The Bible makes it clear that journeys of faith, trusting in God, start with just that: a trust in God, but not in signs or things that happen such as behaviors in prodigal spouses.  You will find that your spouse will be friendly on one day as God works in their heart, and then cold and heartless the next.  Do not put any faith in human actions, but simply know that the Lord loves marriage and will come to the aid of those who stand for “We live by faith, not by sight. 2Cr 5:7”

David in the Psalms describes the faithfulness of the Lord, who knows our journey takes us through times of despair and failure. God is faithful to help us and provide “an oasis in the desert” when we are in the down phase – when attitudes or situation make it seem impossible for reconciliation.

Psa 84:5-7 Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Sadness, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools. They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.

The Holy Spirit through David is saying to us: “Don’t be surprised when you have ups and downs.  For every down I God provide you help and comfort.  Remember the ultimate victory will happen in the end.”

This is why Christ says in John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

We of course would like the Lord to just give us complete instant victory, and that does happen sometimes.  But more often the journey is one of back and forth.  It is a spiritual battle in your heart and the heart of your prodigal spouse and the demonic forces which encourage divorce. Like a war in the physical world, there are days of winning battles and days when we seem to loose them.  However, don’t be defeated!  If you read the story of Moses in the book of Exodus it was not one final victory against Pharaoh, but a back and forth until the final victory.  When all seemed lost God came through.

God will come through in the end, if you don’t look on the situation for hope, but rather trust in God’s promise in Psalm 34:

Psa 34:19 A righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers them from them all;

Filed Under: Trusting God, Waiting

Never Give Up and Never Stop Praying

February 15, 2009 by

It is easy to give up on your prodigal when they give you no reason to hope for reconciliation.  But remember your faith is not in them, but the God who made them and knows all about them, you, and all the details of your situation.  God in his infinite mercy allows us to participate in His work via prayer.  Christ told the situation of a widow who petitioned a mean judge continually. She eventually got her justice.  How much more will your Father God, who loves you and your marriage infinitely, response to your prayers in His time.  He wants you to talk to Him!

Luke 18

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’

“For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually wear me out with her coming!’ “

And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says.And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off?I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”

Filed Under: Prayer, Trusting God, Waiting

Waiting for Salvation of a Loved One?

February 8, 2009 by

Are you waiting and praying for a loved one, perhaps your prodigal spouse, to come to saving knowledge of Christ?

Here is something from my journal that may be of help:

————–

Tonight, the Lord really spoke to me, and I got a glimpse of the joy in heaven that is occurring already in advance.  When my spouse comes to know the Lord there will be a great celebration of heaven.

The Lord showed me this verse:

Luke 15

4 What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?

5 And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing.

6 And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost.

7 I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.

Last week he had shown me how he calls my spouse via this verse. which jives with the reference above:

Mark 5

38 And he cometh to the house of the ruler of the synagogue, and seeth the tumult, and them that wept and wailed greatly.

39 And when he was come in, he saith unto them, Why make ye this ado, and weep? the damsel is not dead, but sleepeth.

40 And they laughed him to scorn. But when he had put them all out, he taketh the father and the mother of the damsel, and them that were with him, and entereth in where the damsel was lying.

41 And he took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha cumi; which is, being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise.

42 And straightway the damsel arose, and walked; for she was of the age of twelve years. And they were astonished with a great astonishment.

43 And he charged them straitly that no man should know it; and commanded that something should be given her to eat.

(Talitha cumi, Aramaic, “damsel, arise”; Christ’s words to Jairus’ daughter (Mark 5:41). From talah “a lamb.”)

Filed Under: Family, Salvation, Waiting

Don’t be afraid of your spouse, but trust the Lord

February 7, 2009 by

Last night I asked the Lord just before I went to bed “is there anything in here you have for me?”

He took me right to this passage:

Isaiah 51

12 I, even I, am he that comforteth you: who art thou, that thou shouldest be afraid of a man that shall die, and of the son of man which shall be made as grass;

13 And forgettest THE LORD thy maker, that hath stretched forth the heavens, and laid the foundations of the earth; and hast feared continually every day because of the fury of the oppressor, as if he were ready to destroy? and where is the fury of the oppressor?

14 The captive exile hasteneth that he may be loosed, and that he should not die in the pit, nor that his bread should fail.

15 But I am tHE LORD thy God, that divided the sea, whose waves roared: THE LORD of hosts is his name.

16 And I have put my words in thy mouth, and I have covered thee in the shadow of mine hand, that I may plant the heavens, and lay the foundations of the earth, and say unto Zion, Thou art my people.

 

The Lord was basically saying – “Have you forgotten who I am?  I am the one that comforts you, but I am also the one who made you and everything in all the dimensions.  I am sovereign and mighty. Don’t be afraid of people, your spouse included. It is the Lord  who will work.  It is I who do this, not you.  My hand is upon you, and this battle you are going through is part of the kingdom.”

This was a major wake up call for me.  He is so far above this.

Filed Under: Fear, Trusting God
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